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Women Talk

forever friends*
forever friends*

Today I was for four and a half hours on the phone, with just three people. It wasn’t a typical day, as days may go by without a call. Thus I do feel a little tired by all this listening, answering, interrupting, laughing, listening and then talking again, but I can’t complain. It’s not that my tendency towards fewer words has changed. It’s that I’ve finally managed to decode and profit from what is derogatorily called incessant blabbering.


Women are considered to talk a lot, and this quality is dismissed as frivolous. But would it be sustained if it were useless? Something lasting through the centuries must have a purpose.


I didn’t touch upon the current Dutch elections or the impact of the Frankfurt School on Marxism in my conversations today, and that’s probably a pity. However, I learned that two of my friends get intimidated at work and that makes them question their self-worth. I also learned that another friend feels socially awkward among the other mothers at school. So, besides being there to comfort them, to act as a counsellor and crying shoulder, how do I benefit from all this information?


Women tell each other their stories and pass on not only their experiences but the workings of their minds. Women are excellent observers of their own emotional life and sharing their insights ensures the preservation of an already immense network of support and understanding that leads to awareness and growth. Women are involuntary researchers, using the ancient and dependable techniques of oral tradition to communicate their findings.


In a day full of distractions and urgent tasks having people talk to me about their fear of rejection from their individual but commonly hostile environments wasn’t a burden. On the contrary, it was a lesson. Without them having payed attention to their own feelings and having decided they were important enough to discuss, I wouldn’t have realised how common my anxieties are: I’m not a freak and I’m not weak. Thus, by giving a stage to my friends’ ramblings I discovered that what has been looked down upon as a waste of time is no less vital for our species than buzzing is to bees – although equally incomprehensible to those outside the hive.



["forever friends" is part of the greens collection]


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Thursday, 16 March 2017 23:06
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